I couldn’t leave you before, I was scared. I feared walking into the unknown without you to guide me. I had no safe house, no witness protection plan, no faith. I imagined that you’d hunt me down and torture me to within an inch of my life; expose me to the world, leave me vulnerable and alone.
What once stood tall and proud is now dirty and torn. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. My soul is broken and wonders aimlessly in an overgrown graveyard.
I’ll be here for three long weeks, alone and scared like a lost 10-year-old child.
Extreme pain will soon arrive, it will not be alone, guilt and shame accompany it every time. I’ve caused hurt and pain to people that I loved. The past is going to beat the fuck out of me and I deserve it. I know it’s coming. I’m scared. I’ve hit rock bottom and I’ve nowhere else to go.